"Role of a Lifetime" from bare could never be more fitting than now.
Everything's an act,
When you're pleasing everyone.
And he assumes that role
To such renown.
He plays a perfect part,
Straight from his heart
Knowing the risk he takes
And hoping that the house
Is not brought down.
The role of a lifetime is living a fantasy.
The trauma that you struggle to erase.
Thoughts battle words over deeds
A war with such casualties.
All played out behind a smiling face.
God I need your guidance
Tell me what it means
To live a life where nothings as it seems.
Spending days in silent fear,
And spending nights in lonely prayer.
Hoping that one day when you wake,
Those feelings won't be there.
So confused because I feel completely lost.
And here alone it all somehow makes scene.
Look into his eyes for some compromise
Remember the word, forget
And try to bury something so intense.
You learn to play the straight man,
Your lines become routine.
Never really saying what you mean.
But I know the scene will change,
White picket fences, and a dog,
A trophy bright, and children.
God I know that's what he wants
But Jason what role do I play,
Am I a savior or a phase?
Am I here to damn you?
Or to help you navigate this maze.
Where confusion is a crime,
So you fill your life with sound,
And if you dance like hell,
You hope you'll never touch the ground.
What happens when the music stops?
In the silence will he stay one day,
Or realize that these feelings
are going away,
So we drive ourselves insane,
Spinning circles in our souls,
As we dance around and play pretend.
And once again,
Reprise our roles.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Exciting News!
Looking at all my unpublished/draft posts, there are so many related Spring Awakening -- especially during the time the show was here in San Francisco. So many memories were created, so many new friendships formed.
Anyways, this past weekend was crazy! I had auditions on Friday for City of Angels, which is being put on by barestage, the only student-run theater company on campus. We were asked to prepare a one-minute monologue and 64-bars of music (seriously?). My monologue went pretty well, but I didn't do so well on my song. The directors told us that the cast list would be sent out later that night.
After the audition, I went and played ultimate with some friends. When I returned around 11:30pm, there was an email in my inbox with the callback list. Surprisingly, my name was on the list! I was quite excited, but it meant I had to be at callbacks from 9am-3pm the next day.
For callbacks, we were given sides and told to read different roles. There weren't many guys. And some people didn't even show up. After lunch, we ran through the songs and sang individually for the director. The cast list would be sent out later that night.
Good news: I got cast as Yamato, the county coroner. Performances are in April, so rehearsals will keep me quite busy until then. It seems like a fun show with an interesting cast. I'll be sure to update periodically.
Anyways, this past weekend was crazy! I had auditions on Friday for City of Angels, which is being put on by barestage, the only student-run theater company on campus. We were asked to prepare a one-minute monologue and 64-bars of music (seriously?). My monologue went pretty well, but I didn't do so well on my song. The directors told us that the cast list would be sent out later that night.
After the audition, I went and played ultimate with some friends. When I returned around 11:30pm, there was an email in my inbox with the callback list. Surprisingly, my name was on the list! I was quite excited, but it meant I had to be at callbacks from 9am-3pm the next day.
For callbacks, we were given sides and told to read different roles. There weren't many guys. And some people didn't even show up. After lunch, we ran through the songs and sang individually for the director. The cast list would be sent out later that night.
Good news: I got cast as Yamato, the county coroner. Performances are in April, so rehearsals will keep me quite busy until then. It seems like a fun show with an interesting cast. I'll be sure to update periodically.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Chip on My Shoulder
I should be catching up on reading since my textbooks just arrived two days ago, but I decided to take some time and just write.
The first month of 2009 has finally come and gone. School finally started. It's already been two weeks and my schedule still hasn't been finalized -- all thanks to one class. But otherwise, I really like my professors/instructors and classes. For the most part, my professors/instructors are entertaining and bring energy to the class. I really hope I get into Environmental Issues, the only class I'm still wait listed in. Once it's worked out, I can focus on other things.
But so much has happened in the last week. I don't even know how to react to everything. It feels like once one situation is resolved, another one replaces it. And the issues are now even bigger than they were during first semester. For much of first semester, all the crap was academic related. Since second semester started, it's been more life crap... and I don't know where to turn. I wish there was one person who understood everything or rather I could tell everything that was going on, but it's just so difficult.
I feel like I'm living this big lie. I haven't been truthful to anyone, not even myself. There are many things that no one would understand. Even though college is supposed to be a time to live, I feel inhibited. I don't feel like I can be myself that I have to conform to a certain mold that's already been laid out for me. And if I don't live up to people's expectations that the tension builds.
At first, second semester seemed like an easier time than the first considering I've already been on campus for several months. However, things are much complicated than before because it involves more than just crappy classes and academic work. However, once this chip on my shoulder is lifted, I will be able to breathe again. But it will take a lot of courage and work.
The first month of 2009 has finally come and gone. School finally started. It's already been two weeks and my schedule still hasn't been finalized -- all thanks to one class. But otherwise, I really like my professors/instructors and classes. For the most part, my professors/instructors are entertaining and bring energy to the class. I really hope I get into Environmental Issues, the only class I'm still wait listed in. Once it's worked out, I can focus on other things.
But so much has happened in the last week. I don't even know how to react to everything. It feels like once one situation is resolved, another one replaces it. And the issues are now even bigger than they were during first semester. For much of first semester, all the crap was academic related. Since second semester started, it's been more life crap... and I don't know where to turn. I wish there was one person who understood everything or rather I could tell everything that was going on, but it's just so difficult.
I feel like I'm living this big lie. I haven't been truthful to anyone, not even myself. There are many things that no one would understand. Even though college is supposed to be a time to live, I feel inhibited. I don't feel like I can be myself that I have to conform to a certain mold that's already been laid out for me. And if I don't live up to people's expectations that the tension builds.
At first, second semester seemed like an easier time than the first considering I've already been on campus for several months. However, things are much complicated than before because it involves more than just crappy classes and academic work. However, once this chip on my shoulder is lifted, I will be able to breathe again. But it will take a lot of courage and work.
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